Another Girlyskirt Review

The other day, as I was ambling through the aisles of a Canadian Tire, my eyes befell upon an amazing array of Frank chips. How fascinated I was by this unknown brand and, naturally, was obligated to seize me one for essaying and assessing. But, to mix things up a little, I decided to procure their version of cheese puffs instead of my usual potato-based snack. And how thrilled I was with my purchase. Not only were they easy on the wallet, but these melt-in-your-mouth munchies were so light and airy, it was like feasting on a fairy. The cheese coating in question could not be confused with a classic Cheddar or a Camembert, but it was chemically creative and to my surprise a teensy smidgen of vinegar-esque velvetiness vibrated my uvula, zipping these treats to a whole new level. And, might I add, upon completion of consumption, my fingers, miraculously, were not glowing with an incandescent orange substance, despite the endless list of unnatural additives.
       When it comes to cracking these cheesy jokes, rest assured that they are no laughing matter. So, the next time you are in need in of Gorilla Glue or Jig-a-Loo, this is what I propose you do: hop over to Canada's favourite hardware store and keep your eyes open for Frank. Sure, he may not be as popular as Mr. Pringles or that Ruffles fellow but, on a cold winter's night, I guarantee you'll enjoy fingering his petite phallic-esque puffs of pleasure. Besides, how can you resist a snappy chap in a blue cap with bowtie to match?
       Fans of other cheese sticks might vehemently disagree with me...but, on the wang-o-meter, these bite-sized bits of bacchanal-like bliss rate a breathtaking 8 inches. If you are seeking a bold blast of artificial cheddar, these may not be the best of the bunch. I, however, was won over by their airiness and how guiltless I felt as I gorged upon them...Also, the packaging was amazing!

To quote more Shakespeare...

 

 

Potato Salad, Anyone???

 

 

I assume the white globs are the potatoes

...and not eggs, right?

 

So, then, what's holding it all together?

Egg salad? Mashed potatoes? Cake batter?

 

And what's in that icing?

 

I guess there are just some things in life

we'll never know.

 

And while on the subject of Hellmann's:

 

To quote Shakespeare...

 

 

 

It's 2017...

...and what better way to start the year

than with a Girlyskirt chip review:

In an unending quest to flavor their potatoes with tastes from around the world, the people at President's Choice have come out with a new savory chip...Harissa Hummus. This latest attempt at global gourmandise and gastronomic gluttony purportedly transports us to the Middle East (MENA, to be exact) with hints of caraway, chili, coriander, cumin and spearmint. So, what exactly does this amalgamation of aromatic additives taste like? Yes, you guessed it! BBQ.  Well, more of an international BBQ, to be exact. There was an element of exotica, a soupcon of spice that tickled my palette with foreign piquancy. However, fans of Ali Baba won't be soaring on any magic carpets where these Islamic-themed edibles are concerned. Heartbrokenly, there's no huzzah for harissa here. Personally, I base the success of a chip on the number of sittings it takes to complete the entire bag (naturally, a single sitting being the epitomy of tastiness.) In this case, unfortunately, it took more than one night to complete...more like 1001 nights, if you want to get all allegorical. If only I would have found an Aladdin's Lamp inside the bag, that way I could have wished for a different flavour of chips and not these uninspired ridged units of mediocrity that I was now compelled to keep in my kitchen cupboard for future consumption. Needless to say, Sinbad the Sailor won't be substituting his shish taouk for a sack of these subpar potato particles anytime soon. On the wang-o-meter, these tangy tidbits, sadly, make hummus humdrum and rate a disappointing 4.5 inches (at least 3 inches less than the Syrian or Lebanese average...from what I hear.)